Somebody needs to establish rules for how to conduct a meeting. Somebody has probably already done this, but here is my version from first hand experience:
1) If you ask for the meeting, you should have to put together the agenda for that meeting and keep everyone on task.
2) Pay attention, asshole. Put down the Blackberry/Iphone/Droid/Whatever the hell and actually keep up. Besides, you will look retarded when there is a serious discussion and a question is asked when you aren't paying attention. Besides, I would be willing to bet that any email you receive during the meeting can wait until after the meeting.
3) Don't invite the entire planet. Seriously, does the janitor really need to chime in on best practices for project management? Didn't think so.
4) Take notes. I'm not here speaking just for the hell of it. I am really trying to impart important information. You are not the rainman, and you WILL forget what was said four weeks ago.
5) Don't come unprepared. Of course, having an agenda ahead of time for everyone to see prior to the meeting would make this easier. If there is no agenda, then don't complain when no one in the room has the materials that you need. If, on the other hand, there is something important that you need to talk about at the meeting, have handouts or prints or something to put in front of people. Also, bring pens/pencils to make markups. This is a personal annoyance because I don't like having to drag my entire desk top of crap to a meeting only not to use it. I have a back condition and this causes actual, physical suffering for me.
6) If we are from different organizations, and I am not a member of the one hosting the meeting, don't expect me to share meeting minutes unless you are willing to share the burden. Besides, meeting minutes I take are going to be presented from my point of view, not yours.
7) Don't try to solve the problem in the meeting. These are just for an exchange of information, and in all likelihood, this issue will bring up others.
8) We don't like talking out of turn in grade school, so what exactly has changed now? Don't hold side conversations during somebody's presentation. If there is something important to say to one person, either say it aloud in the meeting, or talk off-line. Rude.
9) Seriously ask yourself: Could this issue be addressed through email or a phone conference? Dragging a bunch of people away from their desks takes just that much more time out of the day and can be a productivity killer.
10) Leave the chickenshit at the door. Nobody wants to take part in your personal pissing match. If you have problems with someone at the meeting, then recognize for our sake that these are YOUR problems. Please don't share them with the group.
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